Deintoxication at Cool Fresh Juice Bar
By Caitlin Hawke
"We're Not 'National Hangover Service,' N.H.S. Tells U.K. Drinkers"!
After seeing this NYT headline with the accompanying AP picture of the holidaze's dead soldiers (right), I realized the news has been filled with stories of how alcohol consumption has spiked, particularly this past year. Public health reports show that the gender gap in alcohol consumption has women closing in on men. Not good.
The 'French paradox' pointing to the potential benefits of red wine notwithstanding, alcohol is probably best used in more moderate ways -- and definitely more moderately than the year-end dictates. That's why today, I wanted to celebrate not a hyper-local eat. But a hyper-local drink.
Fresh, frothy kale-apple-carrot-lemon juice from the Cool Fresh Juice Bar. Located in the slice of a shop at 2661 Broadway, just -- perversely -- south of Dunkin' Donuts between W. 101st and 102nd Streets, this micro-juiceteria has been extracting for six years. Not to be confused with the bubble tea shop to the north of DD, CFJB also does Boba. But it does so much more.
They've got hot teas and infusions that would make a toddy jump on the wagon. And they've got smoothies, shakes and bobas a go-go.
Oooh wee! Does this hit the spot. I tell them to go easy on the lemon, but a little citrus foils the sweet of the apple and carrot and sets off the herby kale. I know that people love to throw shade on this leafy green. A friend, let's call him Herr Doktor T, likes to harsh on kale the way Graham Chapman harshed on Spam. That just means more kale for me. Honest to goodness, there's only one way I don't like to eat it and that's sautéed.
Chop it to eat raw like Henry's does for its best salad (that link includes the recipe). Throw it in a fritatta. Or juice it to detox. Kale is scrumptious. Oh, no, you won't hear me rag on kale. And while this juice treat probably clocks in at a small meal's worth of calories, at least it beats the nutritive value of a Unicorn Frappuccino.
Yes, you heard me. That's a thing. Or at least was a thing for a brief hallucinatory moment. Its full name (trademarked, bien sûr) is Unicorm Frappuccino Blended Crème. (I'm guessing that its purveyors cannot legally use the word "cream" when advertising it.) While I am not sure it qualifies as a beverage, it may qualify as entertainment since most of what I know I overheard in a surreal conversation about the Unicornuccino. 'It changes colors!' 'It's sprinkled with pink and blue fairy powders.' Apparently it doubles as a fidget spinner-lava lamp.
OMG. Such is "food" in our day and age. It's enough to drive you to drink!
And drink you should: at Cool Fresh Juice Bar. Stop in and let me know what you order. It's the perfect hyper-local eat to kick off 2018. You can't go wrong with a kale-carrot-apple-lemon juice. It's what the gods drink when they run out of mead. I swear. And if you are attentive, you might even see it change colors.
Happy New Year!
P.S. Cool Fresh Juice Bar is supposedly open 8:30 am til 9 pm for when that hankering hits. It'll set you back $6 for the smaller size, and while less entertaining than a Unicornuccino, it is less than half the price of an aperol grapefruit spritz with smoked jalapeño salt at some wannabe bar. And much more delicious.